18th Days and still counting

The counting seem like never ending....questions building up in my mind...fears building up in my heart....worries building up in my body....questions by questions coming into my mind...when will the counting be stopped ? when will my baby come back to me ? is it I still treating her not good enough ? how can I improve more for her ? when only CAN I BE HOLDING HER HANDS IN PUBLIC AT ESPLANADE...?? will I lose her ? how can I live on without her ??!!

Today I really miss her badly....I only managed to spend a few mins with her but its not enough....I feel like hugging her tight tight for whole day....I feel like kissing her whole day...kissing her cheeks her forehead her nose...making her face all wet....I feel like rubbing her nose with my nose for all the times I can...I feel like caressing her hair whole day....I feel like holding her hands tight whole day....But I cant do it today.....all this things always seem to be what I want to do all the times....I guess I'm addicted on taking very good care of her and making her the happiest girl in the world....

I believe with my sincere heart I can get my baby gal back.....all I need to do is continue on treating her all the best til forever !! and she will be my only baby in my eyes forever....well this have been the fact since early already....I felt so happy doing stuff for my baby...guiding her.. helping her out with her troubles...giving her opinions...like when she want to buy accessories she asked me for opinion and I was there thinking and choosing with her....I felt so happy =) just cant hold hands while doing it.....I know I'm little bit greedy but all I greed on is to be with my baby....

Baby Lyn....I love you very very very much ~~~~!!! I want to be with you forever and ever !!!!

17th Day of me being alone

Yesterday was a sad day for me...I thought in the morning its gonna be fine but once til noon everything seem to change to the bad and it got worse... My body really started shaking when I was hurt...my hands shaked 1st and it went to my legs and from then on my legs kept on shaking non stop.... I was scared...worried that the kid might stole her away from me...my baby.... I really lost the mood of watching that movie anymore... and saw what he gave her...it just crushed my heart........real pain......

But I told myself....I don't want to scare my baby I don't want to look sad in front of her...I hold myself down...I tried to calm myself down...its really hard but I tried no matter what...I kept on breathing hard...I don't about anything else but only making my baby happy.... I calm down and smiled to her....I wasn't angry at her...I was scared only.... I really don't want to lose her...even typing it now I'm also scare and the pain hurt inside my heart...........

I asked myself...when will this dark days come to an end....I really want to be back with my baby and treat her as all I mentioned... like an angel princess to me....If I can get my wish for my next year birthday now....I do really wish that my baby will patch back with me right now....I don't want to waste anymore time to be separate....we both are meant to be together and we both enjoyed the moment spent together....I don't it all to be a waste...I really will treat her the best I REALLY WILL !! GOD PLEASE HELP ME !!!!!!!!! PLEASE GRANT ME THIS WISH NOW !!!

No matter what....I will not give up and I really want to patch back and start treating my baby the best with all I can....providing her secure future...loving and caring and pampering....protecting her......I really love you baby.....!

16th Day of my determination~!!

This past few days I have not been having much mood....I'm always worrying my baby gal will leave me... When she is with me I do really feel happy and calm...but when she is not with me I do be worrying and fear..... fear of losing her...worries that she might be sick... worried that she might not be take good care of herself...worried that she is drink cold stuff too much... guess this is why I miss her so much... and I want to take good care of her forever....

The fear of losing her really slap me hard in my face...and I woke up knowing how deeply I can't lose her no matter what...and it is this that made me clear that I will never treat her bad or what again... I'm very very determine that I will take extreme good care of her...I will worry about her health her studies her family probs....I will forever cherish her and making her no regrets anymore.... I really felt that my life my goals everything is coming back to me already....just like just now I received a mail from a company asking me about job vacancies....I was so happy that I can now earn and bring her out without any stress on financial.... I vowed I must earn lots lots money and buy all the stuff she wants and she likes....the 1st thing I will buy with my 1st salary in Miri here will be her favourite LG crystal which she wanted it so much and still havent got it...

I want her to be showing off to her friends and let them know I'm treating my baby gal the best providing the best love and providing a secure future for her.... and there will be much much more I plant for her in our future together...I even plant to a nice nice boat for her and gonna name it "Ms Lynnie" and then we both will always go out sea to enjoy....we fish we party we watch the stars at night together =) giving her surprises on the boat....

She is now part of my life...without her with me...my life will turn black and white...I will be wondering around thinking why am I working so hard for ?? She is my angel and I'm her guardian where I guide her life not letting her fall down or making any mistakes.... all girls will be jealous of my baby gal in the future and she will be so happy that she will never think about anything to be sad....

This is my goal and my aim which is my priority in my life now....I want to be the 1 to be holding her hands go through her problems with her.... I will not hurt her anymore as I learnt how much I love her....now onwards....she comes before my family... How many times can we find someone we truely love and with so much fates....me and her is like destined to be together...what we think and what we feel are so much alike...its like we can read each other's minds...That's why I will never give up and will never let go... I will always be by her side when she needed me... SO baby...if next time you face any problems with your studies...don't be afraid of letting me know already ok...I will not nag you...I will only help you out and help you think of plans to solve it.... I will only sayang you and pamper you....and don't worry so much anymore ok... =) I believe I'm the only person who truly understand you and really understand you.... I love you with all my heart and all my love...I want to be with you forever my baby =)

15th Day of Loneliness

Today is another happy day for me....as I manage to make her happy today again and she love the way I'm treating her now...and I told her that this is the new way I will be treating her forever and I also told myself I will also improve more on treating her the best...

I wan to see her smiling the moment wake up and think about me and how I gonna treat her happy and the best... What's more to see and ask for ? The reason for me to treating her all the best and happy is because I want her to be smiling the moment she think about me...and when feel happy she will also think about me only... this is the only thing I want to be doing for her and always til the end of my life...

Nothing is more important now in my life to see my baby gal getting all the happiness from me and feeling safe and secure in her future... Although I'm sleepy or tired but when I think of treating her the best and being with her together....I kinda get really energitic and very awake... like I don't feel sleepy at all or tired....but the moment I dropped her home....my all my energy seem to be gone...my mind oledi start to wonder about her like what is she doing now...she bath already or not ? is she tired or not ? does she need a nice massage from me or not ? I always been thinking all the ways I can to make her comfortable and happy staying with me...

In the past I didn't know the feeling of losing someone I really truely love is this painful and suffering....but now I learnt everything that I can't lose my love 1 my baby gal...that's why I have been doing all this for her and assuring her I will never repeat the mistake again...I really very confident and determine in showing her I will never repeat it and I will only keep on treating her the best I can...I will never give up and I will show her how faithful I am to her...

I believe there will be no other guys as faithful as I am outside and this is the only thing I'm confident in and I can win everyone with...

Baby gal I really do want us to start all over again and be very very very happy together...I'm very sure you will not regret the decision you choose to patch back as I will not let you down anymore....this is my way of assuring you and my way of loving you ~~~! its not that last time I don't love you....its the other way round as my love grew more deep for you....my love for you is very huge now and its like a bottomless pit full of happiness and sweetness for you.....

All I want now is you baby gal to come back to my life and help me build up everything in my life together...I really truely love you my baby....and I mean everything I said to you.... =) I miss you dearly and badly...

14th Day without my angel

Today is a happy day for me...I started to be able to take care of my baby gal like I wanted to and promised...the feeling of today is greater and sweeter compared to last time...how I wish the time will juz pause there and we be together forever there...

I wanted to take care of her no matter what and seem like the god gave me this opportunity... and what really made me happy is that I really able to show her I'm serious about making her the happiest girl in the world and the way I will continue on treating her forever... I wish the following days will be just like today happy and if so I really believe everything in life will better and I can handle everything in my life smoothly without any problems at all =)

How I wish I can now always be there for her when she needed me...as long as she just come back to me....I will do anything and I will not care about anything at all....I will start off everything as new as a plain paper.... And now it seem like my blog is turning to what I wanted to post which is sweet and happy posts about our love life =)

People always said that its hard to find the person you love...and if you found him/her...you should not let go of the chances....and I believe I found her my baby gal that's why I'm now doing everything I can to get her back to me...I will never again let go of her by my side...I will treasure her and cherish her til the last breath of my life... When my baby gal is by my side I really do felt happy and I can do everything and its like my life is back on track... The feeling I'm having now really hard to describe as all I can say is that I'm really really happy because I can really show my baby gal that what I said and promised, I'm really doing it and I mean it...

Baby gal...the star I gave you its the only star and it will always be there shining as bright as my love for you...like I said....I believe no one in miri here got anything like what I gave you today and its how I show you my heart....I gave you my heart and I gave you my love....now what's left to do is to continue on treating you the best like an angel princess of my life... =)

Tonight really a happy night for me and I will cherish tonight and I'm sure I gonna have nice dreams about my baby gal and me....the moment at beach just now really peaceful and nice...just the two of us hugging each other...no worries no stress...I wish we can stay like that forever baby gal....listen to the sound of the wave crushing in...feeling the nice breeze of the wind blowing towards our faces....smelling the ocean smell....all that just made everything perfect....

Baby gal....patch back with me now and you will forever be happy and I mean it !! I will constantly be giving you surprises til you will feel any surprises anymore...your happiness will goes on and on and inreasing on and on til you will know no other guys will be better than me... I love you baby gal =) with all my love and my whole heart =)

13th Day of me loving her alone...

Today I will be writing on something different....I will be writing on myself...how I love someone and what kind of person I am....

You know they said loving someone is something beautiful...but to me...loving someone is more than that...its like a dream come through where I get to take care of her....I will not let her get hurt...I help her arrange everything in her life letting her no worries....and she will feel safe and protected by me...

The way I love her is where I love her without any conditions....sure there will be a lot of guys be ready and telling her that they will do anything for her..... but do they mean it ? do they really know what she wants ?? I don't just provide her what she wants and needs....I understand her and know her....everything she does I will also try to think why is she doing this and what's in her mind....

When I love her...I doesn't think of whether she love me or not...or whether she treats me bad or not...all I think of is what else can I do more to make her feel that I really love her and that I love her very much....in my mind I only constantly thinking what I can do to touch her heart....make her love me more also.... I never questioned her love I only questioned myself what else more can I do...

The moment I started with my baby gal...my heart has already given to her...others may not believe me...some of my close friends know what kind of person I am...I don't go and flirt with girls anymore....all I think of in my mind is just my baby....I don't even dare to look at other girls nor think of other girls as I scare my baby will be sad....I fully put all my time on my baby making her the happiest girl in the world... even if I chat in msn I do only pick people that she knows then only I chat with....but most of the time...almost all the time...I don't chat with people at all...I only chat with her...overall....I'm juz natural in being a faithful guy to my baby gal because I only need 1 gf and no more....and that 1 gf is my baby gal no matter what I always think of her as my gf...

I sweared this time we patch back I will only do 1 thing in my life that is making her the most happiest girl and treating her not just like a princess but an angel of princess in my life... So to me...loving my baby gal is not just beautiful...but a sweet love story of my life and my way of showing her forever how I keep on increasing my love for her.... and I'm sure girls out there will be envy of her having me as bf...

And I want to make this blog as our love story book...I will write all stuff about our sweet love together and our times our moments... baby gal....I really love you very much and I miss you dearly... =(

12th Day of loneliness...

Dear god....All i wanted to know is when will my baby come back to me....I have been suffering enough....I don't be separate away from my baby anymore.... I have not been eating healthy....i lost my appetite I lost some weight....although she always told me to eat....but I just cant eat....I don't feel like eating as I don't have the mood...

I wonder when will only she come back to me ??? I wonder then only I can start holding her hands again going to esplanade and not fearing letting people know we are dating...I wonder when only I can be back her bf as officially......all this questions in my head....I really wished everyday that the next day she will tell me that she want to patch back with me already....But sadly speaking....nothing happened....Of cause I will never stopped asking her to patch with me....I will keep on asking her again and again...I will still treat her the best again and again I will still increase my love for her again and again til the moment she thinks that she already got the right person for her life already...

All I wanted is just to be back with you again baby and I hope it will be now.....